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We buried my son the Saturday before Thanksgiving 1998. It was a very cold, windy winter day in MI. I just wanted to get it all over with and get out of there. I wanted to go back to TX where it was warmer ...where we all lived .... where this nightmare would prove to be a mistake. I just wanted to turn time back one week ... just one week ... pleeeease.I didn’t believe it was possible to heal, the pain felt too permanent. And I was sure there would never be a day when I would smile a sincere smile again. I remember telling people that I couldn’t believe one could survive a pain so deep, so all-encompassing, so debilitating.
After my sons suicide the pain ran so deep it felt like it would be fatal!And to be honest, there were days that I hoped it would be.
If you’re a survivor, you know what I’m talking about. You understand when I say there were nights I laid on the floor in a puddle of tears. You understand all the unexpected issues that come up in the aftermath of the suicide. You “get it”... and you’ll never forget. As a survivor-mom, I vividly remember the days of trying to make sense of it all, replaying it over and over in my mind, as if the ending would somehow come out different. I remember the intense guilt and how the need for answers became a driving force in my life. And the ‘why’ that just didn’t relent. Others are uncomfortable talking about it, which only makes it worse. And the overwhelming questions continue to race on... where was God when this happened? What can I tell the children? Why didn’t he pick up the phone and call me? How can I possibly get past the pain and live again? Can I really have a life again? Let me take you by the hand and walk you through the stages of healing. I'll touch on those things that you are afraid to tell anyone for fear they will think you lost it. I’ll help you understand, and bring compassion and direction to your confusion and pain. I will also help with graphic issues, your own suicidal feelings, other sudden relationship losses, PTSD and the many other issues that survivors have to work through.This book was written by someone that has been right where you are! Whether you are ten days or ten years past the suicide this book will help you. You don’t have to be stuck in your grief. Don't suffer alone! Healing may sound impossible, but it's not if you have the right encouragement and direction. I know from experience. I have now reclaimed my life. And over the years I’ve helped hundreds of others do the same.
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I wish this book had been available in the early aftermath of my daughter’s death. It would have given me a look into the future of my grief journey, while providing me with someone with a compassionate understanding of what I was going through moment bymoment. As you read through this book, you will feel that Louise is sitting right beside you with her arm around you, listening to your story and answering your questions in a way only another survivor can. Suzanne Foster, MALicensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Note: this book was formerly titled: A Survivors Road to Healing